By the way, best worstly bad acceptance letter:
Thank you for sending us [name withheld]. Although the competition was fierce, we
regret to inform you that yes, this was one of the worst stories we
received, and it will be appearing in the Journal of Unlikely Story
Acceptances on April 1st. We'll be posting the announcement shortly.
We'll get you contracts and such soon. In the spirit of doing things wrong,
there won't be any edits.