Monday, June 3, 2013

Half in the Bag review of Star Trek: Into Boredom

Being lazy here, but if someone else does a better review of a movie, especially one that discusses things in details, then why not share that instead? And really, I think this review brings up some excellent points.

"The Problem with the movie is the script...they came up with all these set pieces, or things they wanted to have happen...and then played connect the dots with the story, as opposed to writing a good story."

"The problem with fandom is that they care more about branding than substance."

"If you want to see colorful things, it's a good movie." 

 (The review doesn't get going till about 3:30, so if you want to skip the goofy hipster-poking stuff, completely understandable.)

This is the first time I can honestly say I got bored with the action in an action movie. It's just action scene after action after... well, you get the idea. You barely get a chance to know these characters, before being thrust into the next explosive debacle. And what makes this worse, is that there are no consequences. No discipline and no death.

Why should I care about these characters?! Nothing bad is going to happen to them, anyway.

Does it look good? Yes, of course. But this reminds me of short stories with  these wonderful, beautiful metaphors and similes, and construct vivid imagery... only to not tell a damn story. It's the magician's trick. Distract you with pretty words, in the hopes that you don't realize what a hack the writer is.

And it seems to work, because we keep getting short stories that aren't stories, just like we get these lazily written action films about nothing.

I won't go much about the Khan thing, other than I think they missed a great opportunity to make Khan into an anti-hero; a darker parallel to Kirk, who is willing to go the extreme route to save his crew. But they didn't. They decided to make Khan a villain because he was a villain in the second old Star Trek film. Why? Because fuck you. Fuck the audience. Fuck everyone. 

Seriously, they should've just drawn a giant middle finger on the screen, and made that the movie.

By the way, have you talked to your doctor about Khan's Blood?

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